mindfulness

5 Spiritual Lessons to Live Your Best Life!

8 min read….

Every therapist was the same. After an hour of baring my soul, they would summarize my feelings without any depth and attempt to offer an immediate solution. Don’t get me wrong. I understand the power of processing my emotions in the moment, yet practitioners often minimized my experiences to one moment alone. I was tired of telling my story of abuse and disruption with little inspiration for a new perspective, ultimately craving a purposeful transformation. Four therapists later, I met someone who nurtured my wholeness in a way that invites the clarity whispered in my prayers. Whenever I found myself saying “I am trying”, my therapist replied— “You are doing the work”. I was learning to make peace with my trauma because entertaining toxic relationships, feeling chronically broken, and struggling with my self-esteem had to be worth something.

Curiosity led me to chat with spiritualists, from an intuitive in New Orleans to a Babalawo in Havana. I soon embraced the path forming before me; one that is adorned with crystals and thrives on healing through Reiki, tarot, oracles, and divine intervention. Something as simple as journaling takes on a new life when we understand the energy that surrounds us and we choose to dive through intentional practice. I am unafraid to profess that my spiritual awakening shifted how I embody wellness. This is a piece about how to vibrate higher, open communication channels, and provide ourselves with information to be different for the sake of the higher self. Here are five spiritual lessons to master for maximum wellness shared through small tales of my personal journey.

1. Synchronicity is an omen.

An omen isn’t inherently good or bad because our response shapes its nature. The catch is acknowledging the opportunity for change before the message intensifies and impacts our ability to adapt. If your spirit guides are anything like mine, gentle nudges turn into Groundhog Day to demand our attention. After spending four years with someone who ignored me at his leisure and reminded me that our relationship was some favor, I found myself believing the ugliness he saw in me. I justified every level of abuse despite quietly wanting better. Future situations were eerily familiar. I continued dating men who had nothing to offer for nearly 10 years because I thought there was little I could reciprocate. My self-esteem clearly required nurturing so I could determine my own value. These days, I recognize my participation in the chaos and am grateful for the omen that brought forth my truest self. I choose to protect my peace as adamantly as my spirit guides directed me. I cannot unsee these changes now that my awareness is heightened and the synchronicity of my experiences remind me that I am on the right path. Anyone fortunate enough to enter my space must be in alignment.

2.Manifestation requires honesty.

Excel spreadsheets, office politics, and slacks. These are a few of my least favorite things. Yet I found myself enamored as if they were symbols of a fruitful career. After earning a Master of Communication degree in Australia, I returned home in search of a corporate job. That’s what this expensive piece of paper was for, right? I worked with two multinational media companies before joining an equally known social media agency. I felt secure and excited to work with high-profile clients. That is until I felt unfulfilled one year later. The amount of social media likes and comments that translated to potential revenue no longer motivated me. Sitting in an office all day felt stifling. I needed more purpose (and flexibility) in my professional life. The decision to transition into the nonprofit industry wasn’t easy, but necessary for my happiness. What followed was two AmeriCorps terms serving the local community to advance environmental stewardship and educational programming. These opportunities even included field components that freed me from my desk! There was something undeniably set in motion. Currently, I work remotely with an organization that literally saves lives daily. The moment I chose to be honest with my desires, the universe made space for me to take meaningful action. I attracted everything I asked for because I was truthful and didn’t waiver in what was meant for me.

3.Discipline is a major key.

My obsession with journals started in middle school when I’d beg mum for the next one before scribbling on every page. I didn’t know then that my experiences as an adult would leave me feeling incomplete like those notebooks. In 2017, a spiritualist advised me to find a therapist for long-term support; this is when discipline took the place of avoidance and I was set on a path to wholeness. Shoutout to the Therapy for Black Girls directory, where I found my incredible therapist. The version of myself that showed up to the first session was filled with confusion, loneliness, sorrow, and found solace in victimization. My therapist and I met weekly unpacking traumas and triggers through powerful assignments. I’d meditate before journaling on questions like “Who taught me what about love?” Epiphanies surfaced and led me to identify the root of toxic patterns, appropriately name my emotions, establish boundaries, determine how (and where) I assign value and better understand Who I Want To Be. The greatest lesson thus far has been the integrity of choice. Today, I write this story feeling confident, grounded, joyful, and accountable for my actions. Our sessions have since moved to a monthly schedule because my discipline in doing the work unlocked constant growth.

4. Vibration grows with trust.

If someone told me I would become an entrepreneur, I’d question their thought process. Perhaps this was just a product of my own low-level thoughts. Now I understand that my spirit guides had greater plans than I could immediately envision. During my first Reiki session, the healer did a one-card tarot reading. The Child of Wands. The message was to address my creative restlessness and be confident that I have the prowess to bring my ideas to life. My ancestors also delivered a personal message to the healer, advising she share the I Ching oracle with me. I sat with all this new information and energy, divining with the oracle before brainstorming ideas I had neglected for years. Within two hours, I developed a business plan for what soon became a registered LLC. Whenever I am doubtful of my capabilities or unclear on the next steps, I consult the divine through these tools. I always receive what I need, affirmed by blessings and the angel number 444 which symbolizes spiritual guidance. My thoughts continue to vibrate at a higher level in direct correlation to my growing trust in the universe. Another way of thinking about this is I trust my highest self is unconditionally supported by my spirit guides and our open communication.

5. Everything happens in divine order.

Divine order is similar to the divine calendar as nothing happens before its time. The universal flow is always at work for our greatest good and brings as much grace as we allow. This concept helped me make sense of the most jarring experiences. In 2013, I was misdiagnosed with Bipolar I Disorder. The psychiatrist suggested I was a textbook case so I set off to take medication, join support groups, and own this identity fully. Other times, I was deeply disappointed by the healthcare system. Two clinicians later confirmed I was just a young woman who didn’t know how to deal with all the trauma endured. Although those five years forced me to own a false narrative, I was also pushed to pay attention to my emotions while becoming aware of how I relate to others. Since then, I sought a career that integrates empathy, learned to ask people how they are feeling, recognized pain where signs are otherwise missed and became dedicated to promoting personal healing. Without my own rich experiences with mental health, I wouldn’t be able to acknowledge the various spaces that emotional wellbeing exists. I wouldn’t have discovered the power of spirituality and connection. I wouldn’t have become a healer.

These spiritual lessons strengthened my commitment to self. I eventually honored myself as the source of change and divine communication. From romance to business endeavors, this dynamic improved many parts of my life by highlighting the synergy between spirituality and wellness. And as a result, I discovered different parts of myself and learned how to nourish each one uniquely. I’m now able to mindfully assess my needs, paying close attention to all the information available. I’m not my past experiences, but I damn sure learned from them. I celebrate the woman I’ve become daily and proudly make decisions that answer the calls of the universe. Finally, I get to live my best life.


CONTRIBUTOR BIO

Nya Wilson: Wellness Advocate + Reiki Practitioner. Founder of Dialogue Nyne, dedicated to cultivating emotional wealth and energy renewal within black communities. IG @dialogue.nyne

Karmay Of Gloetry Assembly On Holding Sacred Space For Women Of Color

We have to show the ugly, messy, vulnerable parts of ourselves in order to get to that space of like… Wow, I REALLY see you, I REALLY hear you, and allow that raw nakedness and exposing of self to take us to the next level of awakening.
— Karmay, gloetry assembly

Meet Karmay, the woman behind healing circles for women of color: As I walked into Heal Haus, there was Karmay, greeting me with an inviting smile and warm hug. I instantly felt the spirit of a young woman who was filled with compassion, love, confidence, and poise. Karmay is the founder of Gloetry Assembly, where she provides safe, non-judgmental spaces for women and girls to experience deeper connections with themselves and create sisterhood through women circles. Talking about boys, work, clothes, your most recent vacation or turn up is cool, but having conversations that are “substantial and soul filling” was something that Karmay says was missing. With a force of courage, Karmay decided to invite a group of friends, who had never really met each other, to come together under one roof and simply share. Little did she know, she would be starting a movement that wouldn't only affect her inner circle but would impact many other lives. Black + Well exist because of individuals like Karmay, here is her story.

What made you start Gloetry?

It wasn’t for the sake of like “Oh I need to create a space for women” ...it was more-so like trying to fill a void that was missing in my life. It was at a point in my life where I really needed community, and I really needed connection and space for self-discovery and retrospection. I didn’t feel like there was anywhere I could go where I could get that. In my mid-20s, hanging out in the bar scene and conventional spaces that young people went weren’t really speaking to me at that point in my life. I wanted a space where people were genuinely interested in meaningful conversations deeper than the surface level.  

What triggered that need for something much deeper and meaningful?

After working at Yelp for 4 ½ years as a sales manager, I felt a deep desire for self-discovery and reflection. After you get settled in a career you're more than likely to get stuck in that profession. And I was like… I’m not sure if I want to do this forever. So when I left I was like well what else am I gonna’ do? where else am I going to contribute? where do I belong? When I left I was like okay... I belong to nothing, I belong to no one, I belong to nowhere. I was going through a bit of an identity crisis, although a very privileged one (she . smiles and chuckles). I traveled a lot and was able to find myself. Then I had a moment where I specifically asked God “What is my purpose?”. He then revealed Gloetry to me in three separate situations, amongst three different friends and it was like BOOM! I need to bring my friends together and just see what happens.

What makes Gloetry stand out from other women circles?

I intentionally wanted people to have space where we don't simply share relationship stories, stories about your worst tinder date, but to actually dive deep and walk away with at least one epiphany. We have to show the ugly, messy, vulnerable parts of ourselves in order to get to that space of like… Wow, I REALLY see you, I REALLY hear you, and allow that raw nakedness and exposing of self to take us to the next level of awakening. The whole meaning behind Gloetry is to raise collective awareness and collective consciousness.

Were you someone who naturally always spoke up and stepped into your truth?

No, not at all. I was actually someone who didn’t speak up. I was very much afraid of using my voice. I had learned at a young age to not do that. I came from two amazing parents who struggled with emotionally sharing, so my emotions and feelings were very stunted from being shared. I grew up being a child who just listened, obeyed and did what I was told. I saw how that dynamic showed up in my career and how I related to authority. However, my mom was someone who spoke up for herself and advocated for herself whenever it was time, so it’s a very interesting contradiction in that way. I did realize I struggled with speaking my truth in the face of authority, whether that was jobs, bosses, boyfriends, anyone who had some sort of “power” over me, that was my narrative. Gloetry has put me on a path of totally pushing out everything of who I was.

We have a different layer of healing than white women. We cannot do our healing unless we take into account the generational aspect of it and ancestral part of it.
— karmay, gloetry assembly

When was a time you had to speak up and advocate for yourself?

One day my job gave a white guy a promotion over me, who wasn’t performing as well as me. I went to my boss and was like… “Hey why did this person get a promotion when their numbers aren't as good as mine?” It's a pretty obvious thing in sales because you can actually see the numbers. She responded with “Oh I didn’t think you were ready”. Long story short, she ended up having to promote me because I approached her about it to her face.

Yes, girl!... So I know you host a circle for women from all backgrounds, but most recently created one specifically for women of color called Soul Sister Circle. How has that been?

Wow. With the Soul Sister Circle, the vibe and energy is just different. The circle keeps getting bigger, and I’m realizing that soon we’ll need a bigger space to accommodate our capacity. We’re getting the most inquiries with the Soul Sister Circles because if you look at all the women circles its recently become a very “white thing”. It’s typically a lot of white women. In London, California, Australia, Canada, literally all over, all white women. I haven't connected with another black sister who does the same work.

What made you decide to create this additional circle for W.O.C?

Spirit came to me when I started Soul Sister Circle. They came to me and said Karmay, you have to create a space for women of color because it’s time for us to connect with the unconditional love which we came from and which we’ve forgotten. We have a different layer of healing than white women. We cannot do our healing unless we take into account the generational aspect of it and ancestral part of it. In order for us to move forward as a people, we have to acknowledge what happened to those people in the past because we are the extensions and expression of those people who came before us. We truly are. All their pain, good doings, wrongdoings, is literally flowing through our veins. If we come from a place of love we’ll experience life joyfully, but if we come from a place of lack and unworthiness and inadequacy, inferiority and a general sense of aloneness then we’re gonna go through feeling as though life isn’t here for us, and a mistrust. Unfortunately our past is tied into the separation of our families, everything was stripped from us and slavery wasn't that long ago! I mean it ended in 1865, that's only a couple of hundred years ago, so our grandparents are still living embodiments of that time period. So there's a lot of expressing that they weren't able to do that we are now doing for them.

I hear you previously mentioned God. Did you grow up in a religious or spiritual family?

No, not at all. However, I did grow up with a grandmother who would always make us say our prayers every night, you know the ‘Our Father prayer’. God was always talked about. I remember being nine, and I renounced God, and I was like God does not exist! God is not there for me! Had one of those moments that I’m sure many others have at that age. I ended up having a dream that night, and I’ll never ever forget it. Ever since that dream I never doubted again. I’ve said my prayers every day for as long as I can possibly remember after that. I truly believe that is what keeps my family alive and well, that's why my grandmother is 100 years old. I realized the institution of the church isn't necessarily for me, but God and spirituality will always be for me.

What was the dream about?

I remember I was in this glass house as a child. But it wasn't me as the child, it was someone else. And it was a dark figure that came into the house. A very dark but benevolent ghost, and he was like... “I heard what you said, and I’m going to show you something”. He took me around to different scenarios of how we're supposed to be as humans, how we're supposed to treat each other, and why we’re here. The ghost went to tuck the child back in bed and the child asks “Are you leaving?”. The ghost said, “You may not see me but I’m always going to be here, I’m always going to be with you”

Wow, that's a word. A lot of people are into saying “The Universe” and using crystals and other forms of spirituality. What’s your take on that?

Well, my parents did meditate, and my mom had her crystals. My grandparents were very conservative church folk. As a child, we absorb so much, so I just kind of blend it all and find that balance between both practices.

The world is in such an interesting place. We have this unusual paradigm with like so much connection with Instagram and Facebook. I can easily speak to someone miles away, in a whole other country, but like how often am I talking to that person? Commenting on a post and liking photos doesn’t fill that void. It’s this interesting paradox of so much connection resulting in absolutely no connection.
— karmay, gloetry assembly

What can we expect next for Gloetry?

Well, I’m honestly just figuring it out as I go. There is no blueprint. I really want Gloetry to have a household name in NYC before anything else, by continuing our circles at Minka and Heal Haus. I also want to expand our reach to more school programs for girls. We also work with young girls 7-13 weeks, depending on what the school needs and we do 2hr workshops with girls ages 10-15 to learn more about their sense of self, who they are, and helping them define their values and worth on their own terms. I started that group because a lot of what we talk about in these women's circles always stems back to childhood. And I’m like, what if we could actually start getting girls to talk about this stuff at a young age, what if they already begin the introspection process at age 10 or 11. Where would humanity be then?

That's so amazing and necessary work for our young girls and communities. I really love that. When did you begin this?

I piloted the program last year with 5 girls and it was just amazing how these girls opened up. I had a mixed girl in the session and she would always wear her hair back, she was very insecure about her curls. You know, at that age when you don't really know how to manage your hair, and it's just all frizz? She hated it. And through the workshop which is all about self-love and self-acceptance, she began to wear her hair out towards the end of the program. That was so amazing! Now she's wearing braids, doing all this stuff and truly trying to explore herself. And the girls that I have now, they never want this program to end. I mean seriously, they always ask if I’ll be back next semester and next year. So I really want Gloetry to be in more schools!

What about your Corporate Culture Workshops?

Ok, so corporate wellness became a thing because yoga and meditation became a new hot thing.  A lot of corporate spaces now offer yoga as a perk with your corporate job. That's great, but yoga and meditation are still very individual. When I meditate that's my own experience, I'm connecting deeper with myself and I’m finding peace, balance, harmony, and spirit within myself. What's being said now is that the antidote to depression and anxiety is a connection, connection to other people. Loneliness is actually more of a killer than cigarettes. So it's like if you're doing yoga and meditation that’s great, but you still need to talk about that experience with someone, you still need to be able to express yourself and be vulnerable and release whatever is inside of you. So I would really love to see corporate companies start bringing in sharing circles like Gloetry, and let's start changing the culture, and stop making our lives such isolated incidents, because in reality we are so interconnected, we are so much more than ourselves. I believe the world is craving that inter-connectivity. The world is in such an interesting place. We have this unusual paradigm with like so much connection with Instagram and Facebook. I can easily speak to someone miles away, in a whole other country, but like how often am I really talking to that person? Commenting on a post and liking photos doesn't fill that void. It's this interesting paradox of so much connection resulting in absolutely no connection. The core of us as humans is actually being face to face, in a physical space, and sharing.


How do you stay true to your core values with Gloetry?

By just sticking to the ethos of Gloetry that we're not just going to give you this cute thing, and hand it to you in a bow. Wellness is not a cute thing. Wellness is messy, wellness is raw, healing is messy, healing is raw, healing is not a perfect smile, healing is not pretending everything is ok, healing is not trying to keep it all together. Healing is really showing what you're really going through. I think too often wellness is shown as this cute, bow-tied present handed to you because of it being marketable and profitable that way. That's not what Gloetry represents. What Gloetry means to me is finding the light within yourself so that you can spread your light to others. It’s interesting because it has the root word ‘glow’, and it ends with ‘tree’. I really believe that's what we are. We are growing and rooted in the earth. We are all trees, we are all connected to each other by our roots. So Gloetry is a very spiritual and symbolic word in itself. We call everyone who comes to our sessions ‘Glo-trotters’. It's essentially about being a support system for all women’s mental health.



Stay connected with Gloetry Assembly on Instagram and up to date with upcoming circles in NYC via Facebook


Contributor Bio

Azalia L. - Wellness Advocate and Coach, Founder of Black + Well

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Anasa Troutman on Joy, Radical Love, + Forgiveness

Photo Source:  Anasa Toutman

Photo Source: Anasa Toutman

Writer, producer, and entrepreneur, Anasa Troutman has dedicated her work to the importance of culture and the power of love. As CEO of her company, Culture Shift Creative, Anasa works to build and execute strategies for artists and organizations that are aligned with her vision of a loving world and her belief in creativity as a pathway to personal, community and global transformation.

In her recent TED TALK, Troutman discusses going from justice to joy. She goes on to say “What if we teach everybody that all of us of deserve joy, wellness, the benefit of the doubt even… what would that be like? A culture of joy offers sustained well-being for everyone”.

Watch as she shares her full story below!

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Black Women In Wellness: 21 Influencers + Advocates You Should Know + Follow

As a way to celebrate International Women’s Day we put together a list of black women authentically and unapologetically advocating for wellness within their communities.

These women represent what is means to be Black + Well


Chelsea.

@TheCoffeyBreak: Every week the Black + Well community is blessed with affirmations by the one and only ‘Affirmation Queen’ Chelsea Coffey. Admitting to not “having it all” Chelsea uses affirmations and her spiritual awareness as a way of manifesting a purposeful and fulfilling life. TheCoffeyBreak.com

DeJanae.

@dejanetanye: Wellness writer, certified cannabis educator and founder of @greengodessglow. DeJanae uses her platform to encourage mindful cannabis + self-care practices. GreenGoddesGlow.com

Chelsea.

@thatschelsea: Chelsea began her platform in an effort to help teach others how they can live a healthier lifestyle, as well as become more knowledgeable, and health-conscious consumers. Her content ranges from quick health tips to eco and green beauty reviews, to plant-based recipes. ThatsChelsea.com.

Yasmine.

@meanttobeyasmine: NJ based writer, body positivity advocate, and content creator. With a simple mission to “honor myself enough to become who I’m meant to be”, Yasmine encourages others to be fearless and do the same with @transparentblackgirl; a community organization founded to encourage, highlight, and nurture unapologetic women of color. Meanttobeyasmine.com

Shanna.

@shannatyler_:Life + Biz Coach and Podcaster. After being diagnosed with major depressive disorder and hospitalized in an inpatient facility, Shanna decided to move toward the light, and share her story to empower others to do the same with her podcast Self Soul Sport. Catch her sharing all things wellness over at ShannaTyler.com


Leah.

@GreenGirlLeah: A sustainability + wellness writer and advocate, whose overall goal is to help people live with both self-care and the environment in mind. Leah is passionate about environmental justice and equal access to nature, which she personally calls 'Green Inclusivity'. GreenGirlLeah.com

Kharissa.

@Kforteco: Writer, health coach, and light force. Kharissa continues to advocate for wellness in multiple ways, spiritually being one. With her book Pardon My ApathyKharissa aims to help women create authentic lives by reaching the root of their core desires and seeking fulfillment over validation.

Aala.

@aalaoffical: After curing herself of an autoimmune disease, Aala has been encouraging others to take their health into their own hands with her cookbook cleanse. You can catch her spreading health and wellness at aalacleanse.com


Somi.

@somiigbene: Advocating for health and wellness through a plant-based diet, Somi shares drool-worthy recipes over at VeganBySomi.com

Danielle.

@zelue: A Brooklynite, Nurse Practitioner, and creative. Danielle dedicated her blog to plant care/styling, self-care, vegan and sustainable living, home decor, and the pursuit of cultivating a joy-filled life. Her goal is to be her most authentic self and inspire others to do the same. Zelue.me


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Larriell.

@herthrivinglife: Larriell believes that health is a priority and should be considered mentally, physically and spiritually. Her Thriving Life exists to inspire others to live a life of wellness to produce growth, peace, and happiness. HerThrivingLife.com


Melissa.

@metricdisco: Melissa shares her personal wellness journey unapologetically. Along the way she’s learned to give herself “permission to enter spaces of predominately thin, white people and tell myself “yes, this is for me” even when I felt like the people around me were implicitly telling me no”. Follow along as she cultivates an active practice of self-care and joy at MetricDisco.com

Jasmin.

@mashandspread: Registered Dietician by day. Blogger by night. Jasmin shares creative ways to indulge in healthier food choices at MashAndSpread.com

Amanda.

@elevatedbygrace: Vegan Health Influencer. Amanda’s goal is to lead a life of health consciousness and inspire other to do the same. Check out her YouTube Channel where she shares recipes and mini docs. ElevatedByGrace

Les.

@balancedles: Les is the fitness-loving founder of Balanced Black Girl, a podcast and supportive wellness community for women of color. She creates space for women to have candid conversations about wellness, self-care, and self-love, with a dose of humor. BalancedBlackGirl.com

Nzingah.

@yesbabyilikeitraw: With a holistic approach to wellness, Nzingah shares food, fitness, mental health, and self-care tips along with natural remedies to empower others to live more wholesomely. YesBabyILikeItRaw.com

Brielle.

@wellwithbrielle: Black + Well contributor Brielle shares her own personal wellness journey and tips around a lifestyle of wellness on her blog. WellWithBrielle.com

Maiah.

@maiahthemermaid: Wellness coach and fitness instructor, Maiah advocates for others to get fit and offers wellness programs over at MaiahTheMermaid.com

Denise.

@brooklynbabe NYC Mama, Doula, Wellness & Self Care Advocate, and Content Creator. Denise loves building community, supporting moms, women, and humans while remaining in a constant state of growth and connection with the universe. ABrooklynBabe.com


Valerie.

@floursihheights: Dietician Valerie advocates for women’s nutrition & wellness and helping others plant their health on higher ground. FlourishHeight.com

Tiffany.

@TiffanyIma: Teaches creative women how to use exercise and self-care to manage depression + improve their overall wellness. She believes we all can build our own happiness through a simple and holistic approach to wellness. TiffanyIma.com


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3 Tips To Overcome Bad Habits!

3 Tips To Overcome Bad Habits!

They say it takes between 21-28 days to create a habit which may sound like a long time to some people, but it’s actually very short! I’m sure we all have things that we wish we didn’t do, but we just need a little help on how to overcome it. Here are 3 tips to overcome bad habits to get you on a path to a better life.